True confidence is not thinking more positively about yourself. It’s knowing you’re complete, so it’s safe to stop thinking so much about yourself at all. —Jody Moore
Happy Valentine’s Day, loves! I’ve been MIA here and on my social media platform for what feels like months.
What have I been doing lately these last few weeks?
I’ve been learning to love myself more.
Considering I had a rough start to 2020, I wanted to take a step back, even if it’s taking a hiatus from my passion: writing.
Over the course of the last few weeks, I’ve learned more about what it means to love yourself.
From personal experience and what I’ve witnessed from those close to me, these are the lessons I want to pass on to you if you’re struggling in this area.
TAKE A BREAK
If you need to take a vacation to get away from everything, do it. If you need to just work, go home, shower, eat, then head to bed without doing anything else, do it. And if you need that glass of wine instead of going to a workout, do it without feeling guilty. It might feel weird at first, but that might mean that you haven’t learned to love yourself enough to take a break yet.
If you’ve been getting kicked around by life, it’s okay to take time to sleep and/or rest. Your to-do list will always be there anyway, so if you need a Saturday to sleep all day, why not? Give yourself a break because it’s not like you do it all the time. When you give your mind and body the sleep/rest it needs, your performance/productivity will only increase and get better.
As someone who loves being around people, I also like to be by myself to recharge. Can you say #ambivert? Being alone is a time when you can be most honest with yourself. And if you haven’t done this, it’s time to work through your fears by being alone so you can face the music. If you’ve never spent any time alone and are currently struggling with every area of your life at the moment, I highly encourage you to carve out a day where you can be alone because it’s in those moments where you can be most vulnerable and transparent with what’s going on and what you can do to fix your problems.
GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.
One of my good friends is at a point where just thinking about moving away makes her cry. I had to explain that it’s just an option she could look at. I had to let her know that she didn’t have to move if she didn’t want to. Most of the time, the answer to our problems can be found when we get out of our own way. Only then can we see things clearer.
Don’t let yourself get in the way so much that you’re literally paralyzed by fear.
IT’S OKAY TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP
Finding comfort in the support of your family and friends is good. However, if you feel like you need to take a step above that, do it. Speaking to a licensed therapist or psychologist can help you dig deeper into the root of any problems you might have and see things in a different perspective that your loved ones might not being seeing.
Seeking help from a professional is a sign of strength, not weakness.
I hope you love yourself more this year.
In whatever way that means to you, love yourself because you are needed. In the words from my friend, Kode of BossLogic, “You are the most important thing in your world, even if you love others more than yourself, without you, said person would not be as loved, you can’t really love someone without loving you too.
Take care of you, live life for you, when you leave this place, it’s going to be just you.
So don’t do things to impress others, don’t live in the shadows of anybody, cast your own and leave your own footprints in this world.
Good things will happen, just keep chipping away at the door to the room you want to be in with hard work and patience. I represent all of you here that have lost so many nights of sleep, that saw so many backs of people that gave up on them, that fell broke trying to dream big, you have the avenue for the world to see you at your fingertips, so keep putting in the hours, the love, your heart.
See, if you are not here to perceive and be aware of it all, your entire universe doesn’t exist without you.
This is your story. You are important.”
I hope this speaks to your heart in some way.
And in regards to Valentine’s Day, if you’re still single, it’s okay.
Take this time to love yourself.
Take this chapter in your life to focus on yourself, your goals, and grow into the partner you want to be in your future relationship. And I promise, when you’re not looking is when you’ll find a partner who will compliment you.