You want to know who your friends are? Start your own business and ask for their support.” —Steve Jobs
Going for your dreams and goals is hard, but it’s harder, especially when you don’t have the support you need.
Have you ever tried to get healthy or start your own business or a new venture, get all excited and pumped up about it that you tell your family and friends about your dreams in your I-just-won-a-million-dollars voice only to feel like this…
…when you receive a blah or not-so-supportive response/reaction from them?
Yeah. Me too. Hence, the picture. Actually, this was me in Rachel’s car with the windows rolled down several years ago, but it’s almost the same kind of facial expression I make when I learn that someone I care about doesn’t support or believe in me so I think it totally goes along with this article.
Anyway, you know what I mean, don’t you? Their doubting of your dreams hurts. Their doubting YOU hurts. You’re hurt because your support system waits until you succeed first before they partner with you or believe in you. How about this? Their very thought of thinking that you want to make a buck off of them (when you really just want to help them)?
What your support system says/thinks can really be uplifting or painful. It just is. The words and unbelief from your own flesh and blood or friends cut you hard too, huh?
The truth is…Your “support system” may not consist of your family or friends. - Huong Vo Click To Tweet
As hard as that may be to hear, it’s true. Go ahead and read (feel free to laugh and nod along as well) the following and tell me it is isn’t true or hasn’t happened to you:
- “Mom, I may sound a bit crazy right now, but I just started a business that I know I’ll be really good at!” “Have you asked your father about this?”
- “Grandma, I just started a business and I would love your support!” “Be careful, honey. It might be a scam.”
- “Hey brother! I really think these products are going to help you. Just try it.” “I don’t know. I’d rather ask my doctor first.”
- “Honey, I want to get healthy and lose some weight. Do it with me!” “How much is it going to cost and can I still eat what I want?”
- “Guys, I just started this business that I know will help you too if you partner with me. Trust me!” “What does it entail?” ::explains:: “I don’t know. Let me pray/think about it.”
- “Babe, I want to go to school.” “That means I won’t be seeing you a lot. What about ‘us’ time?”
- “Y’all, this business is the best option for your situation right now. Take a risk. You never know.” “Well, my parents did something like that and they weren’t successful.”
- “I’m a blogger/influencer.” “Really? Why don’t you get a real job instead of taking pictures?”
- “Sweetie, I want to go back and get my Master’s.” “How much is it going to cost?”
I know. It’s true, right? You know what all these responses have in common? Doubt, right from the beginning. Whether it’s doubting you, themselves or a new (ad)venture, doubt is just that: doubt.
I’ve experienced some of these conversations myself. I know that some responses are meant to tell you to “be cautious” because that person cares about you. However, that’s not my point. Why?
Because to dreamers, that’s NOT what we hear.
We want to hear right off the bat, “I believe in YOU!” or “Tell me about this business venture.” and after listening to us (even if you’re not interested), genuinely tell us, “I know you can do it!” or “You know what? I trust you so I’m going to give these products a shot.” or “I want to support you, but finances are a little tight. You have a discount? Let’s work together on this!” or “Honestly, I believe in YOU. I just don’t believe in myself. What can I do to change that?” and the holiest of all support system holy answers: “Money is a problem, but let’s figure out how we can make this happen.”
Risk takers are a bit more different. We’re like kids who have just been offered ice cream. Think about it. If you ask a child if they want ice cream, they’re NOT going to say, “Can I ask daddy about this?”,“Ice cream is a scam!”,“I have to ask my pediatrician first.”,“How much is going to cost?” or “Let me pray/think about it.” and the best one? “Well, my parents ate ice cream and didn’t like it so I probably won’t either.”
And you know it’s true! Instead, they’ll tell you, “Yessss!” with the utmost enthusiasm and without asking what flavor it is or checking to see if they’re lactose intolerant. Why? Because they WANT ice cream and are willing to take any risk to have the small possibility of being able to taste heavenly goodness. They keep their eyes on the prize, baby. And you better believe they’ll get their ice cream too! You know what else they might do? Make kids around them jealous, haha!
It’s okay to not have support from those you love.
Truth be told, I don’t have a good “support system” either, but I follow four steps that help keep me going after my dreams whether my loved ones believe me and my dreams or not:
- Find and network with fellow dreamers who think and act like you. Not just any dreamers. Dreamers who are out there, taking crazy action and not giving a care in the world about what ANYONE thinks.
- Keep them in your life by building relationships. Travel together. Do business together. Eat and hang out together. Lean on each other, support one another, and keep each other accountable.
- Find those who want help, who want to get better, who are hungry to succeed, and serve them.
Since following these steps, I have found ONE dreamer who really supports me and believes in me. And you know what? Our interactions outweighs every single conversation I’ve had that has resulted in me doubting my own self.
It’s okay if your family or friends don’t believe in you or your dreams.
It’s not their dreams to understand. Your goals are not theirs so they won’t understand. Love them anyway and live out YOUR dreams. Show them what’s possible when you have faith, believe in yourself. and surround yourself with those who believe in you too.
I know it’s hard to not get support from those who are close to you, but you have to remember that at the end of the day, they aren’t living your life. YOU are.
Did this article relate to any of you out there? Tell me your experiences with your support system in the comments below, how you felt, and what you did to overcome it!
Happy Friday, dreamers!