Nearly two years ago, one of my friends said something at dinner that I didn’t understand until yesterday. I can’t go into what happened, but what did happen made me reflect on what my friend said. Moreover, it made me feel so much regret at the same time. It wasn’t until then that I realized what he said was really true and timeless wisdom. He said something along the lines of, “I’m always careful about my actions because what I choose or don’t choose to do will affect my family’s future. I always keep this in mind when making decisions.”
Honestly, what he said made me think at the time. However, it wasn’t until yesterday that I truly understood and experienced the impact of my choices I’ve made over the years.
The feeling of regret filled me to my core, regret that I had forgotten about God’s grace and promises. In tandem, I regret that I wasn’t chasing my dreams for the right reasons. Rather than focusing on what others thought, I should’ve chased my dreams with the focus of my family’s future.
I questioned my mindset and why I was the way I was. “Why was I so scared to put myself and my gifts out there?” “Why did I care so much about what others thought of me that I delayed my actions for five years?” “Where would I be today had believed what God has said about who I am and I poured my heart and soul into my dreams?” “Where would my family be had I chosen to just jump in and live my best life?”
Little did I know that my postponing my dreams would limit my family’s future. Being steady in life, feeling certainty and not financially worrying about whether our loved ones will be taken care of went out the window. I had wasted my own time watching others fulfill their dreams while making an income for their families.
I had thrown my family’s future out the window because I chosen to not follow my dreams sooner.
My past (in)actions brought stress in my and my family’s future and it was my fault.
I didn’t step into the identity God had set for me. Instead, I questioned myself and my gifts. I didn’t take action because I worried about what others thought instead of working from God’s heart.
The reality of me choosing fear over faith resulted in my family’s now uncertain future. I wasn’t aware of the effects of choices or in my case, my choice of choosing to do nothing, would have on my loved ones.
Although I’m feeling down about the actions I didn’t take, I will say that I learned to be more aware of the impact of the things I choose to do or don’t do. I’ll be brutally honest when I say this: it just sucks to have to learn this lesson through the expense of my and even more so, my loved ones’ future.
Be honest with me.
Are you aware of the impact of your choices?
Please don’t make the same mistakes I’ve made. You will never be able to take back the time you waste.
For me personally, I will be working very hard at being diligently aware of the choices I make or don’t make for as long as God gives me life. Never again do I ever want to sacrifice my loved ones’ well-being and future for my decisions in life.
Awareness of our actions is way more important than we think. To be aware of one’s actions means to care for oneself and those around us because let me tell you, the thought of leaving behind a legacy of unawareness is not something I want to be remembered for.