I can’t control your behavior; nor do I want that burden…but I will not apologize for refusing to be disrespected, to be lied to, or to be mistreated. I have standards, step up or step out.—Steve Maraboli
Today’s article is not an easy topic to discuss: how to deal with betrayal and dishonesty. Whew, here we go!
I’m sure we’ve all had someone we care about not be honest with us or even left us feeling like we’ve been betrayed.
Ever been there before? Feeling like betrayal could never happen to you because you’re around the best people?
Then when it does happen, wham!
The feeling is so painful because those you care about so much whom you thought would ever hurt you ended up doing what you never thought would happen.
A lot happened to me a few years ago. Those I thought I could trust left a negative impression on me. Once pieces of a puzzle were put together, lies were brought to light and truths came out.
I’ve been learning how to deal with deception and dishonesty these last few years.
Today, I wanted to share with you about how to deal with betrayal and its aftermath.
THINK BEFORE YOU RESPOND.
It’s very difficult to find out when someone you care about has been lying to you. You want to scream, yell and throw things because you’re hurt. In fact, it’s very valid you feel this way. Betrayal and dishonesty is hard to deal with.
Before you respond, process the situation and the information. Words can never be taken back so think about the situation and those involved (yourself included). Get out your feelings in private if you must. As hard as it sounds, consider the other person’s feelings as well as your emotions before you form a response. After you’ve thought about everything and cooled off, you can then respond. The last thing you want to do is say things you’ll regret and can never take back.
TALK TO SOMEONE.
Opening up to someone about your emotions is extremely difficult if you have anger built up in you. Find someone who isn’t involved in the situation that you trust and talk to them. Set aside some time with this person, explain that you trust him/her with what you’re about to say and how you feel and that you just need them to lend an ear.
Sometimes saying how you feel out loud to someone you trust helps. If you need it, s/he can provide sound advice if you ask for it. I have two amazing souls outside of my current situation that I adore and trust and always feel better after I speak to them.
BE OPEN TO BEING OPEN AGAIN.
If close friends have lied to you or your own family members have betrayed you, you’re in the same ocean as I am. It’s difficult to get back into the boat again and trust that you won’t crash and sink or get shoved off the plank. I get it.
However, how can you receive NEW friendships, love, blessings and everything great the world has to offer if you aren’t even open to the idea of being open again? Rescue yourself and be your own hero. You may be afraid of being hurt again, but don’t miss out on wonderful people because you want to avoid pain.
I hope this article has helped you when it comes to betrayal and dishonesty.
Writing it all out has actually helped me too. Don’t hesitate to let me know of your experiences and how you’ve dealt with them in the comments below! When you’re ready, serve others by sharing your story. You never know who it’ll help.