Enough is enough.
People not participating in conversations because they’re afraid they’ll say something stupid to holding themselves back from doing what they love because of the opinions of others has got to stop.
Don’t get me wrong.
We’ve got to think before we speak because words can never taken back. And fear? It’s a natural thing.
Personally, I admire people who are comfortable in their skin. To me, when someone is being themselves, it’s such a beautiful thing to see! And it’s quite refreshing. What makes me feel uncomfortable is seeing people not being themselves just to “fit in” or because they care about what others think about them.
Look, I get it.
Nothing makes you feel more inadequate than being made fun of or being left out. Not getting paid what you’re worth doesn’t make you feel valuable. Not striking up a conversation with your crush because you’re afraid of saying something stupid and make a terrible impression. What else? Oh, you’re constantly apologizing for every little thing that it becomes a natural part of your vocabulary.
And over time, the more you apologize, the more you lose a little bit of who you are.
Let me tell you something.
Enough is enough.
STOP APOLOGIZING
One of my favorite U.K. influencers, Lydia, just wrote a blog post called I Am a Proud Difficult Woman. In it, she talks briefly about apologizing to appease other people. Look friends, I’ve been there, done that. I’ve apologized for not answering my phone because I was on the other line. I’ve apologized for not accepting an invitation to dinner or an event when I needed sleep/self-care. And I’ve definitely apologized for replying late to my emails when I was sick or on vacation.
Friends, it’s time to know the difference on apologies. Are we saying sorry to legit things like the words we used to make someone feel inadequate or are we apologizing for not answering the phone because we’re tending to our sick family member?
I challenge you to catch yourself saying sorry to others and see what you’re apologizing for and fix it. Don’t be surprised if it’s for something that’s not legitimate.
SAYING NO
Saying no is hard. If you have my personality, you want to help everyone and see everybody around you succeed. You feel like if you don’t help, part of the failure is your fault. Friends, learning to say know was the best thing I could’ve done for myself.
Sometimes saying no to someone saves both your time and the other person’s time. And depending on what it is, you may save money too. My rule is, don’t say yes if you know deep down inside that you can’t 100% be there for the other person. It’s not fair to them or you.
For the last several years, I’ve been practicing saying no. And I must say, life is much better and less stressful. If you have a hard time saying no, I get it. Just remember that when you say no to something, you’re saying yes to yourself.
HERE I AM
Be authentically you. Sounds so cliché, right? It does until you step back and notice that the majority of people around you are putting up a front. Whether they’re faking their lives for that perfect Instagram shot or holding their real selves back for fear of others’ opinions, there’s a lot of inauthentic people in this world.
Does the phrase sound cliché now? Not so much, right?
With plenty of inauthentic and insecure people in this world already, you need to live your life in such way that people feel a void when you’re not around.
That’s right. I’m telling you to live life with a “Here I Am!” mentality.
So? What do you think of today’s post?
Are you not being your full self?
If you are genuinely confident in who you are and act like it, have you had enough from what you’re seeing around you?
Regardless of which side you’re currently on, people are going to continue to live their lives no matter what you do or what you think of yourself. There is absolutely no point in beating yourself up.
Why?
Because the world’s already doing it for you.
Enough is enough.
Rachel
October 3, 2019Huong I have so done all of these! I for sure have to work on the apology part. I have worked on saying my apologies when I am in someone’s way instead of saying I am sorry because I do not want to just keep blanketing everything in an “I’m sorry” phrase. It is good to remember that it is hurting me when I say that more than the effect I really want it to have for it is genuine and I always want it to come across that way.
Huong
October 18, 2019Good for you for being self-aware, Rachel! Yes, saying sorry when you truly don’t need to isn’t healthy. Let me know how you progress in this area!