When I started showing up as the woman I wanted to be, the world led me to a place where I could finally say, “I am her.”― Diane von Furstenburg
When was the last time you felt confident? Honestly, I can’t say I can remember when I was either.
For the last six months to a year, I’ve been on a personal journey to (re)gain my confidence and become the woman I was once proud of and loved being.
Now, am I going to be that same exact woman? No.
The goal is becoming her…to meet the next version of myself.
That said, after a lot of reflection and answering the hard questions, here’s what I’ve found to begin the journey to becoming her:
FACING THE MUSIC
Doing a self-audit is NOT fun. Hard questions will come up such as why we do the things we do and if nothing stopped us (ourselves included), what life would be like.
At times, during a self-audit, you’ll find unresolved trauma and memories you will not want to revisit. To boot, you’ll want to resist feeling the emotional pain you had long forgotten about because you had shoved it that far in the back of your mind. But, you do it anyway if you want to meet the next version of yourself.
What’s even more difficult is being brutally honest with yourself. To be frank, it’s hard to be honest, even if you’re not announcing the truth(s) to the entire world.
I’m not sure why that is, but facing the truth feels weird…and awkward. And although it’s a weird feeling, it also feels good to be honest with yourself at the same time.
All I can say is that this part of the journey is messy but very worth it as it opens your eyes (and perspective).
FIND A MENTOR AND/OR TAKE A COURSE
Whatever it is you’re trying to achieve, find a mentor to help you or take a course on it. If you’re struggling in the finance department, it’s okay. Start as small as reading a book.
One of the best ways to grow and evolve is to never stop learning.
My friend and mentor, Rachel Kennedy, has taught me so much. The course I’ve been taking from her has been hard, fulfilling, and freeing. On top of chatting with her, and taking her course, I’m reading books.
Of course, I’m doing these things at my own pace so as to not overwhelm myself.
The key is to never stop being in learning mode!
KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES
A big part of becoming the person you want to be is learning to say no more than saying yes.
Intentionally choose what and who you’ll say yes to. Your health and goals depend on how much you say no. In fact, it feels weird to say no to 99% of the time if you truly care about your health and goals. Get used to it.
Recently, I had a friend invite me to dinner, but I was honest with her and said no. I did it for my health after working myself to the ground at my day job for a quarter of the year. Think about it. How can I even be a good dinner companion if I’m exhausted and not present, right?
EMBRACE THE JOURNEY & YOURSELF
This journey to becoming her isn’t easy by any means. However, it’ll be easier if you embrace it and all the adventures it comes with…the good and bad.
Personally, I’ve held back from posting a lot these last few years because sometimes I thought (and still think):
“Are people really that interested in me?”
“Am I providing value?”
“People want to buy from my links?”
“Do I post during a time like this?”
“No one will resonate with me because I’m not the typical 20-something influencer.”
I realized from the tiny commissions I do make (if you’ve ever purchased from any of my links, thank you so much!) that people DO want to support me.
People DO want to chat about the content I love: home decor, beauty, travel, and fashion (and with you guys, it’s the Met Gala fashion, haha)!
When I receive messages of, “Thanks so much for sharing that!” Or “Your blog article helped me,” I feel like I’ve accomplished my ultimate mission: by leaving you better than I found you.
This makes me feel good because I’m learning to embrace myself and who I’m becoming when I help others.
ADD VALUE TO OTHERS WHILE YOU’RE BECOMING HER
Speaking of adding value, I always want to be the iron who sharpens others.
Spending intentional time with God has been so encouraging for me. He speaks with authority yet in love: “It’s BEEN time. You know to Whom you belong. You have everything you need and know what you need to do. Just show up.”
Well, I’m here. I’ve finally arrived at my port of call.
I’m becoming her.
And I’m ready for the fun adventures that await me.
If you’re in the same boat as I am, tell me…
Isn’t it exciting to know when you’re well on your way?
And if you need a place to start, below are some books I recommend. Feel free to reach out if you need any guidance too!