As the days continue to soar away, 2018 has felt like it’s flown by, like faster-than-the-Flash flown by. But in terms of seasons, it’s been such a slow one for me. Whether I liked it or not, this year has been a year of less work and more of rest and reflection. Reflection, I’m good at. Rest? Let’s just say I’d get a score of 2 out of 10 from all three judges. I’m terrible at resting. Ask my friends and they’ll agree with me on this.
Over the course of this year, I’ve made myself take time to slow down and enjoy life more with my family and friends. And looking back, I’ve been so present that I don’t have pictures from certain get togethers either. And neither do my friends, haha! It’s funny because we’ll go home and then text each other saying we forgot to take pictures (i.e. Friendsgiving) and learned that none of us have! And we’re completely okay with that. I mean, that’s how you know you’re having a great time, right? Even when I’m out and about shopping, I try to be really present with those I’m shopping with too.
Taking the time to truly be in the moment has allowed me to soak up fleeting moments.
Taking in my mom’s laughter, her smile, hearing kids sing the 12 Days of Christmas while I’m shopping at Target (true story!) and just goofing off with my friends has made my heart SO full. I’ve been enjoying my surroundings so much and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’ve also been learning about peace and reflecting on what living well means to me.
And to be brutally honest, I learned that I’m not so good at resting (more on that later). So, for the past six months, I’ve “lived a little” by being a bit more human. I’ve sat down to watch some old favorite shows I haven’t seen in years (Frasier, Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends, etc). And I’ve made it a point to watch movies I’ve wanted to see for ages too.
Speaking of, several months ago, I told some of my friends that I’d be intentional in watching superhero movies (in chronological order because I’m a nerd like that). Were they surprised that I hadn’t seen most of them? Yep. And to be honest, part of me felt like they were making fun of me for not living. And that side of me wanted to say, “Well, I’ve been dealing with this thing called life and hustling on my blog. Movies will always be around. Life won’t.”
However, the other part of me was shocked in a sense too.
I realized I hadn’t been having a ton of fun and that I forgot how to enjoy life and celebrate everything.
In between resting, working my day job and blogging, I’ve done a lot of reflection with blogging and life. Looking back at 2018, I know I could’ve done better with blogging, but I needed to do better at resting. I say that because I realized that when I don’t take a Sabbath Day (I mean, Jesus rested Himself), I just can’t write. I can’t come up with ideas nor can I form words even for blog posts. But, when I intentionally rest and do nothing work or blog-related once a week, I come up with what I feel like is valuable content. I mean, look at these blog post titles: My Most Epic Failures As a Fashion Blogger and You Using These Negative Words is Probably the Reason Why Your Life Sucks.
So proud of myself. ::tear:: (in case you don’t know me well, I’m totally being sarcastic at the same time here)
Although this year was a year of rest and reflection, it wasn’t completely my hottest year.
Health-wise, I got sick more times than I did when I was young. I also gained even more weight and have had some foot pain flair up in recent weeks. Now, the pain is to a point where I pray to God and ask Him to help me get through my workout sessions. A close family member also got into car accident so I felt the ripple effect of the stress from that too. And on top of everything, I still struggled with anxiety.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there are people out there with worst problems than me, so I still consider myself blessed. I guess the main point of this post is to let you know that when someone takes themself off the grid, it can mean that they’re either busy or they’re struggling or both.
Please, check on them.
On the outside, they may look fine, but on the inside, they’re probably not. And from personal experience, a meltdown is just waiting to happen.
If someone pops in your mind, be intentional and call that person or send them a message to let them know you’re thinking of them at that moment. Ask them how they’re doing…like, how they’re really doing. Sometimes, you can’t help someone other than lending them your time to listen. And sometimes, that’s all someone needs.